7 Reasons Bollywood Still Needs To Grow Up

Caution: A highly biased, opinionated, unprofessional and irrational post is coming your way.

Disclaimer: This post is based upon the majority of Indian movies, I know there are a few great exceptions, and I love them, but I’m talking about the majority for now.

Also, this post is based highly on my opinion, I do not in way state that Bollywood is bad or it’s inferior to Hollywood. Please, if you don’t agree with my thoughts, be calm and respond in a respective and civilized manner, don’t go berserk, this is my opinion and I would like to keep it that way.

When you think about Bollywood, you think about people dancing to weird songs, ridiculous storylines and absurd fighting scenes.

Bollywood is a huge industry, it’s worth billions of dollars.

The first Bollywood movie was “Raja Harishchandra”, it was black and white, it was silent and it was short.

Since then, Bollywood has evolved quite a lot.

But, Bollywood still needs to grow up, and here are seven reasons to prove that.

1. The storyline

I have to admit, love stories are the most clichéd storyline of Bollywood.

Why does this guy have to love this girl and their parents not agree with it? There are modern parents in India too!

I know DDLJ was a great movie, but reusing its concept again and again, over and over has become quite bland and boring, improvise guys!

Storylines are the most important part of a great movie, yet many movies go hit without a proper story.

Just cast a buff actor and make a scene where the hero is opening his shirt, revealing his six packs, climax ready!

2. Love is in the air!

Okay, fine. We can understand that you love love stories, but, let’s keep them where they’re supposed to be.

Why do you need to shove it in every movie?

Action, Thriller, Suspense, Comedy, it’s everywhere!

We have enough romance movies to satisfy our “love needs”.

Just give us pure action, pure suspense, pure stuff, why a blend of romance in everything!?

Love stories are sweet when they don’t interfere with the plot of the movie, only if movie makers understood this.

3. Out of context song sequences

Every Bollywood movie has a song in it. Every one of them.

Literally.

Why? Just why?

Even if the song was required in the movie, it would make sense.

But they’re not even required most of the time.

Go and say “I love you” to that girl, why are you singing a song about it?

It’s awfully long. Please stop it.

4. I can teleport!

There’s this very annoying song playing. I’ll bear by it. But I’m bewildered by how absurd the video of the song is.

How? How can the guy and the girl teleport from one place to another while dancing?

“Look at me, I’m dancing on an island, next moment, I’m dancing in the streets of London, next moment, I’m dancing on a mountain.”

I’m just dancing all the way.

Kangaroo Dance

Dancing for the win, right?

5. The “superheroes”

I don’t even know what the guys at Bollywood were thinking when they decided to make superhero movies.

If you want to make movies containing tons of animation, you need to know how to do it.

Like seriously?

Bad movie animation is the trademark of Indian superhero movies.

Whenever I watch Indian superheroes, all I have is a big sigh.

If you want to copy Hollywood, copy it smartly.

Superhuman strength and agility are ancient in the superhero world, if you want to make superheroes, you have to come up with a new concept. (I’m looking at you Krish.)

Copying Terminator, kudos to Bollywood. (Now I’m looking at you “Robot”.)

6. Absurd fight sequences

The main character is a power ranger double in Bollywood.

No matter how many people come, the protagonist can beat every one of them to a pulp.

What does he eat!? How in the world can an unarmed man take on twenty men with weapons?

A little exaggeration is okay, but Bollywood takes it to a whole new level.

Hit him what you may, he won’t budge at all.

There was even a scene where the main character threw a rose at a goon, which hit him so hard that he went flying away.

A rose? Seriously? *facepalm*
A rose? Seriously? *facepalm*

7. Women are not chicken!

Feminists, you might not like this line from a Bollywood song:

“Mai to tandoori murgi hu yaar, gatka le saiya alcohol se” (I’m a tandoori chicken, swallow me with alcohol).

A woman sings this line while doing an “item number” song.

I don’t know what the writer, the singer and the editor were thinking while writing this line.

From what angle does this look like a woman?
From what angle does this look like a woman?

And this is just one nugget of the many outrageous item number songs.

Those not familiar with item numbers, search “Bollywood item number” on YouTube, even if you don’t understand the lyrics, the video will be more than enough stupidity you can handle.

Best of luck!

A Final Note

Bollywood is an evolving industry, although it has a big collection of audio-visual stupidity, some Indian movies are actually really impressive and deserve what they’ve earned.

The face of Bollywood is changing rapidly and great movies are being produced.

Incredible movies are being made on pressing social issues: Corruption, Racism, Women Empowerment (quite contradictory, eh?) and much more.

But as I said before, Bollywood still needs to grow up. And I hope it does that quickly.
Featured image source: https://goo.gl/d90PmH

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57 thoughts on “7 Reasons Bollywood Still Needs To Grow Up

  1. I like few of Aamir Khan’s movies though, especially that one movie with a kid suffering from dyslexia. I forgot the title. Also I found 3 idiots quite good.

    Forgive my wrong spelling (if it was wrong) on the actor’s name though.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Ah yes, that one. Couldn’t say I didn’t bawl my eyes out when the kid won the contest; it was very moving. PK is highly recommend by friend too. Although I still haven’t found the time to watch it.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Totally agree with you here Gaurav, except a few rare exceptions all of them are filled with everything you have mentioned above and it is a pity we haven’t come of age yet when in comes to cinema. I would like to quote a line from Gangs of Wasseypur here, “Sala Hindustan Me jab tak Cinema hai log chutiya bante rehenge.” (It might be bit exaggerated but I still feel it is apt to the present scenario.)

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Totally agree with all your points. It needs a lot of growing up to do. I would like to add…one more point. To expulse the old actors and give chance to new talent. I am sick of SRK, Salman, Amir..etc. Gosh! Specially the meaningless movies they are coming up with these days.
    Amir always spoils the second of the movies. Just his Taare Zameen Par was a blockbuster for me. Rest were Okay-ish. I found Oh my God way better than PK. Rest I don’t even torture myself with other movies. There are only a very, very, very few Bollywood movies that I actually watch..and recently, I have started watching Pollywood movies. 😉 (Punjabi cinema) They are way entertaining and fun. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Great point! Bollywood needs new talent, SRK, Salman etc. have reached their 40s, we’ve seen them long enough!
      I found PK better than Oh my god though, to each their own I guess.
      I’ve never watched any Pollywood movie, but I expect them to be very lively and energetic, are they?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. They are. Very! Go for “Sardarji” the recent one my Diljit. It’s so damn funny. 😂
        And I think in case of Salman, SRK etc… it has become more about the brand. No one cares how wrinkly SRK looks now, or how pathetic actor Salman is…it’s just the body and brand now. 😏

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I don’t know enough about Bollywood movies to comment about that aspect although I love Bollywood and Bhangra dancing. I thoroughly enjoyed your post and the points you made seem very right. I also enjoyed your caution, your disclaimer and your humor!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This was seriously awesome!!
    Yes Women are not chicken nugets!
    Bollywood need to grow up and it’s high time now..
    But we all say stuff liked this but then also movies are making lot of money!
    I don’t think people are growing up..
    Actually according to me it should be like People you need to grow up with Bollywood!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Have you heard this song-mera gaana bajado dj.. God…such an innovative song I tell you! The whole song has one line. In different variations. I mean I can make a better song man. pathetic! But saying that bollywood has some really great songs as well. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yeah! Some of my friends are all like, “this song is so good man, I love it!”, and I’m just there like, “I don’t get it, he just says one line again and again!”
        Yes, it does, Arijeet Singh, Ankit Tiwari and similar artists make meaningful songs which I love!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. “When you think about Bollywood, you think about people dancing to weird songs, ridiculous storylines and absurd fighting scenes” … I’ll add to that…dancing around trees, heavy rains and of late…what’s that guys name..??? Rohit Shetty…and his flying cars.. quite ridiculous to say the least.
    I visited the Film City in Hyderabad…biggest deception of my life! Tho’ I enjoyed looking around and stuff…but then entering temples with no God in them…or entering a train platform only to exit from a plane on the other side..
    Cheating! Oh and yes…I saw the Hollywood sign in Hyderabad too..now I need to wrote a blog post about it. My hands are already scratching… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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